Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

February 8, 2012  (The Anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America, as well as Opera Day!) Back after a long hiatus!

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • My sister’s favorite rapper is Will Smith. I’m pretty sure her favorite ice cream is a block of ice. (Ouch, that was harsh…)
  • Got arrested for possession of #swag last night (Sure, I’ll bet the officer was all like “Whoa, buddy. You need to tone down that swag!”)
  • Yes dad. Please continue feeling up your girlfriend and the dinner table. (Doesn’t get much more awkward than that…)
  • When you eat food that’s too hot and start breathing like a retarded dragon. (Though I don’t condone the word, I know this feeling exactly…)
  • oatmeal taste like dick hair (The hell? What kind of oatmeal are you eating?)
  • Mum needs to wash my hair for me like now (#FirstWorldProblems)
  • Sure. I’ll have three glasses of red and go hurl myself down the side mountain on waxed up planks of wood. Great idea. Super safe. #skiing (That’s a good point. Sounds dangerous, yet intriguingly awesome.)
  • At the beach today. Some lady was burning her wedding dress in a bonfire. Gee, I wonder why things didn’t work out. #boiledrabbits (What?? Where did that hashtag come from?)
  • I feel you. My car is dying. I need to let him/it go, but…I just can’t quit him. #BrokebackCar (Some loves you just can’t turn off…)
  • I never eat yucky beef… seems I accidentally eliminated horse from my diet too #result

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

December 21, 2012 (The world didn’t end. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Also, it’s Hamburger Day, Kiwi Fruit Day [in California] and, of course, Winter Solstice!)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Gregorio can fix cars but I heard he fixed Alex’s BMW (Black mans weiner) [Oooooh, BURN!]
  • Saw a car with this bumper sticker: “We say Christmas.” I say potato. #waronpotatoes (Everybody has a cause…)
  • omg the hair stylist after cutting her bangs: “you just got banged” (Perhaps a bit tactless and too far..?)
  • Prenatal pills in my shampoo have helped my hair grow so much.
  • I can’t believe my daughter shit on the bathroom wall yesterday hahahahhahaha (I don’t find this funny. Should I not have kids?)
  • Just found 80 bucks in my back pocket really wanna know where it came from #win (Damn. Now THAT’S a good day!)
  • Dear tourists in new york please be more aware of your surroundings i am hungover i will shoulder charge if need be
  • I think i’ve gotten to mature for facebook… (I disagree…)
  • I’ve always loved beer but for you ill make an acceptation (Sounds like you loved beer too much before tweeting this…)
  • it’s gonna take 2 good dumps and some COD/Halo wins for me to want to go out tonight… happy to report that we’re on track for hoodrat shit
  • I got a septum ring collecting boogers like it’s his job. (EEEWWW. Gross gross gross #gross)
  • Lisa’s baby shower!!! 👶💙🍼 #babynoname #cantfigureitout #yolo
  • If you live in Washington or Colorado you can finally buy #weed with the Visa gift card your grandma gives you for Christmas. #jealous (Oh, how the holidays have changed.)
  • Jencarlos lives on a diet of hairy pencil cases (Does this make sense to anyone else?)
  • My blood type is diet coke (‘Merica)
  • Is it rude to shave your armpits in public? (Maybe not rude, but ill-advised, I’d say.)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

December 14, 2012 (You. Guys. It’s MONKEY DAY, also National Salesperson Day, so give your sales team props! Especially if they’re a group of monkeys.)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • I just remembered I paid $50 for an oil change and tire rotation…. Anyone else wanna rape my ass? (Some things you just don’t forget, I guess…)
  • My vibrator name would probably be the little engine that could. (#TwitterTMI)
  • It’s cute when they put expiration dates on snacks like I won’t eat them as soon as I get to my car. (I mean…good point.)
  • I love how i can freely scratch myself in my own car [followed by]
  • i can stealth scratch in the cubicle for days (#MaybeYouShouldGetThatCheckedOut)
  • my mom always has scissors in her car so she can steal flowers from ppl’s gardens (She’s teaching proper preparation, as a mom should…)
  • Lmao who left a “let’s get our balls wet” towel in my car? (Who indeed?)
  • I just hit a banana peel with my car. My car didn’t stop or spin around. So disappointed. (#MarioKartTweets)
  • Some people shave their legs when they go out with someone they like. I shave my ponies. #notaeuphemism (Wait…what??)
  • Watching a movie with my mom and a sex scene comes on … Thank God for the dryer beeping ! Holy Awkward! #SaveByTheBell (My parents just always made me cover my eyes. Doesn’t everyone’s?)
  • calling me mainstream is like shitting on a microwave. like what are you doing with your life? (It makes sense…yet…doesn’t…)
  • Sex Fact: People who have sex about three times a week are perceived to look four to seven years younger. Better than botox! #fb (A fact, you say?)
  • I’m gonna love having long hurr this winter short hair be havin my neck all cold lol (Big ideas. This guy, he has big ideas.#bigideas)
  • you had me at blood and semen. (Um…..)
  • Dashing thru the blood, of all the human slain! (Someone has the wrong kind of holiday spirit, methinks…)
  • I think the best birth control is wearing crocs . (A sellable point…)
  • razors pain you rivers are damp acid stains you drugs cause cramps guns aren’t lawful nooses give gas smells awful, you might as well live~ (My head just exploded. I can’t even…)
  • A blessing: May your child be born early in the month so she or he has an easier time with Web drop-down menus that ask for birthday. (#FirstWorldBlessings)
  • “I feel like there just needs to be a dessert that no one really likes, you know?” -whoever invented fruitcake
  • “Sweet potatoes and hotdogs for dinner?” “Yes, it’s a random combination… still not as bad as Nirvana and Paul McCartney though.” #truth
  • [[Don’t go to the link]] Fibroids In Uterus+odor http //fibroids-in-uterus-odor.nbashoesssale.com (Everything about this spam tweet is wrong…)
  • You drive a Volvo? I pictured you in more of a muscle car (naked and with one of those horse tail dildos up your butt of course. (Well…that tweet took a turn for the awkward.)
  • Wonder if Taylor’s swift is gonna get some birthday sex..
  • good evening Twitter followers it was a grey cloudy day her in jax today dinner chicken string beans sweet potato tweet you later (I fell asleep halfway through this tweet…)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list! Also, here’s a picture of a monkey…for monkey day. I like monkeys.

I...like...Monkeys

I…like…Monkeys

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Google Maps is back on iOS, so spells the end of Apple Maps

For all of you who were holding off of updating your iPhones because you didn’t want to lose Google Maps, your time has come. An actual app for Google Maps is available in the Apple Store for your iPhones, just in time for holiday travel. Below is a detailed article on what makes Google Maps so good, and why we’ve missed it so:

What does this mean for Apple Maps? Is it a lost cause? Do you think Apple will still try to completely revamp the Apple Maps app to compete?

Let me know below with your comments.

Thanks for reading. Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

December 7, 2012 (National Cotton Candy Day – Seems a little unseasonable – and National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day!)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • The wife just caught me blow drying my penis & asked what I was doing. Apparently, heating her dinner wasn’t the right answer (But…why were you..? Nevermind. Just, nevermind.)
  • Fran feeds fish fresh fish food. (betcha can’t say it three times fast)
  • Bed sheets should not smell like Hungry Jacks (Valid point…)
  • Someone threw a snowball at my car while I was driving down 22. I hope they get raped. (A bit of an overreaction, maybe?)
  • UPDATE my vet is really hot (And thus begins many unexplained illnesses for her pet)
  • A dog just winked at me. Does this mean I’m it’s owner now? Always wanted a winking dog (Winking is nine-tenths of the law, right?)
  • I spit words like I’m pregnant with the dictionary (Ok, Twitter rapper. That’s a new one for me…)
  • Being an injured athlete is like being a porn camera guy, you only get to watch the action (A poignant and pretty true statement, actually.)
  • oops a wee bit of poop just slid out my butt… get back up there poop (Eh…I just don’t…ew. Just ew.)
  • Give me that brain till my legs hurt!!! (Did brain become innuendo at some point, and I just missed it?)
  • Let me go wash my ass, shave my balls and go enjoy this weather .. Y’all be good .. Holla if u in the bity(city) (1. Who’s stopping you? 2. Why, just, why? and 3. If you’re going to parenthetically correct city, why not just type city?)
  • A low cut shirt makes up for messy hair #everygirlknows #everygirldoesit (Ladies, is this, in fact, something you all know and do? #HashtagsDontLie)
  • “hey do you guys mind if I pinch your nipple, eat your food, and talk about how tight my butthole is?” #notokay (Everyone has that friend I guess…)
  • Weather is amazing. Fairways are turning green again in December #grassconfused (#TexasProblems)
  • Hoooooly shit, the Mexican version of Lil Wayne just walked into my office. Ha! Goofy Ass looking clown… #elpequenowayne (Worth noting, just for the hashtag)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

November 23, 2012 (The Black Friday Edition!)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Yo fuck a lot of things. The A.M. Raisin bran. The word bran. Your haircut. The word finna. Whole grain. Dr Oz. Not being famous. Today. (This person may have been having a bad day. Perhaps.)
  • How are my nails stillll weak? A month without a manicure is pure torture (Is this why the rest of the world hates us? Yes indeed.)
  • I just saw a girl put an iPhone into her backpack without locking the screen and it made me want to pull out all my hair. (I completely understand this sentiment, actually.)
  • when I grow my beard , I’ll be gassssseddddd ! Probably catch an std too (Please. PLEASE explain the correlation here.)
  • i want to shave but i cant in case i don’t get selt red bull the morns morning :/ (It started as English, and then went to crazy town.)
  • @SexFactsOfLife: You burn calories and lose weight every time you have sex. (So we’re apparently using the word ‘facts’ pretty loosely these days. Do YOU lose weight every time YOU have sex?)
  • A model just told me to wish him good luck, and I replied, “wish lucked!” Who the fuck am I? I’m such a dumb bitch. (Yeah, this reminds me of a great Brian Regan comedy segment. Hilarious. And it sucks when it happens.)
  • I hate it when I’m wearing my onesie and then I have to pee! 😠 #sooannoying (#firstworldproblems Also, adult onesies are so weird. I’m sorry.)
  • Text my sister asking what she want for Christmas. She betta not OD (Um…this is the most tragic tweet I’ve seen in a while! Yikes.)
  • you just ordered extra pubic hair and saliva in every thing you eat in every restaurant in town. Congrats! (What caused this, and how do I completely avoid it forever and always in my life??)
  • Fuck, it’s his birthday today. Well his new bitch can get him something. #Asshole (There’s a juicy story here…)
  • They have a Black Friday sale for buying followers OMG !!! #DieNow (Everybody wants a piece of the action…)
  • I think Glimmer is the porn star chick of She-Ra, she has pinkish hair and big boobs, lol. (I never looked at it that way…)
  • Feel like a lightening bolt just hit the tip of my penis (The hell..?)
  • So#SWEET #LOVE #MY #NAILS #NAIL #PORN #NEON #SPOILED #GREAT #BRAND #FINISHING #RESULTS #COMING #AFTER #THANK (#I #hate #when #people #hashtag #everything #on #instagram #Die #in #A #fire)
  • Pink says: try. Yoda says: Do or do not. There is no try. Take advice from a 3 foot tall humanoid OR a chick with pink hair and big biceps? (No wait…he has a point here. This is quite the dilemma.)
  • I’m disappointed a show titled “whisker wars” is not about a feline martial arts tournament #ClawlessVictory (Meowlena vs. Pawraka. FIGHT!)
  • watch your mouth! Cussing on Twitter like you ain’t got no home training. Putting mess into the universe -#Auntie (#TwitterFamilyValues)
  • Just saw a guy rev his engine and peel out of the parking lot… In a Subaru Outback. Your mom’s gonna be pissed, bro. (Twitter users just callin it like they see it.)
  • Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? (Well…ok. Fair point.)
  • definitely don’t remember asking for my teeth which I just found in my pocket… (What kind of night did THIS guy have?)
  • Yes dad. Please continue feeling up your girlfriend and the dinner table. (‘Tis the season for family togetherness…for better or worse.)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

That Social Media Mojo

For a while, I lost my mojo. I became disillusioned with the overwhelming feeling that I couldn’t keep up with blogging, social networking and my job, and I didn’t think blogging was getting me anywhere. I didn’t think anyone cared, wasn’t sure if anyone was reading and I felt like I was just pumping out my content to no one. So, I stopped. I haven’t written a blog post for weeks. I wanted to, but then I would just get flustered and tell myself that it didn’t matter anyway. I considered deleting my blog, but I didn’t. I’m glad that I didn’t.

I received a comment out of the blue this week on a post I did a couple months ago. It was an engaging comment and in the end the person thanked me for writing the post. This small gesture reminded me why I blog. I don’t do it for constant comments, retweets on Twitter or raving fans. I do it so I can connect with people who are interested in the same things I am. I do it to share information with those who are seeking it. The glory of the internet is that posts just float out there, and can show up again when people are looking for them.

I sometimes look at the big names in blogging, the social media pros, and I wonder how the hell they have time to still have a life. I realized it’s because they don’t try to do everything. They focus on the things that are most important to them, keep the peripheral in mind without completely fragmenting their focus, and thus are able to have time to do other things. I’ve wanted to be so “engaged” that my focus has been in too many directions. I haven’t been able to give anything enough attention, because I was trying to focus on everything. And so, just in time for Halloween, I’m coming back from the dead.

blog, blogging, blogger, zombie, social media

The horror! The humanity! The blogging!

Also, I’m currently reading a pre-published copy of Chris Brogan and  Julien Smith’s “The Impact Equation” (affiliate link) and I’m already telling you to pick it up when it hits on 10/25. You’ll love it, and be inspired by it. These guys are no b.s. about how to make an impact, and it’s not the same old crap you hear everywhere else.

How do you keep your social media mojo going? What inspires you to blog, even if you’re not getting the engagement you wish you were?

Let me know below with your comments.

Thanks for reading. Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

September 28, 2012 (It’s. Drink. Beer. Day! You have a holiday’s permission to have a great weekend.)

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Dear macho man going for a run in the rain, when you come to the front desk, turn off your iPod. I hear your TSwift plain as day. (busted dude…)
  • I’m REALLY high, & my mom came back from the dentist & her mouth was numb so she talked sloppy. My laugh x10 DEAR LORD. Cx
  • The one day I come home for lunch..and the dog throws up, and then eats it back up. I don’t want to live here anymore. #timetomoveout (I don’t think that’s an overreaction at all…)
  • They designed the iPhone 5 to fit perfectly in your pocket. Right where your money used to be. (Oooh burrrrn.)
  • bummed to realize my ipod is dead as i arrive at the gym. BUT universe threw me a bone: burly man doing 30 mins of dead lifts. in HOT PANTS. (Hooray for small victories?)
  • Please go see #Lawless so they continue to make movies like it. Also, take birth control or you will be pregnant w/ Tom Hardy’s babies after (Maybe they should sell protection at the door)
  • A hairy window broke a silly pineapple with a blue fridge and everyday a grape licks a friendly cow. (You figure it out…)
  • She had wrinkles in her pleated skirt.. that’s IRONic (wah wah waaaaaah)
  • Mom Trying to have the straight talk with me in the car ride… To the Mall. TO GO SHOPPING (Kind of seems to defeat the purpose, either way)
  • @xxxxxxxx: “I’m going to a wedding Saturday. Do I need a haircut?” @xxxxxxxxx: “Did you just ask if you needed a handpuppet? Yes!” (Who doesn’t need a handpuppet at a wedding? Obviously.)
  • Headed to an AYCE Brazilian steakhouse tonight. Couldn’t be more excited. Bring on the #brotein! (Please, no one brand the term Brotein. Please.)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

June 20, 2012 (Happy Ramadan to those who celebrate it, Happy Lollipop Day to those who don’t)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Wtf thought I saw a cricket going across my living room but it ended up being a frog
  • Today I bought some swordfish in Napa and on the way home I saw a shirtless, hairless, extremely tan dwarf powerwashing a sidewalk. The end. (Thus ends the epic tale of this guy’s day.)
  • Let’s have sex? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no. (Seems the odds are stacked…)
  • SOME LADY JUST RAN OVER THE CRICKET I WAS GOING TO KEEP AS MY DORM PET WITH HER CART AND KILLED HIM. THIS IS THE WORST SHOPPING TRIP EVER. (crickets are a big deal in Texas…)
  • Yes, what you have heard is true on FB. I’m not going to Lisa’s wedding because I have tickets at the Imax to Dark Knight Rises. (It’s called priorities, and this guy has them right.)
  • a tumblr called ‘girls doing things’ featuring photos of fully clothed girls doing normal things like walking a dog or crossing the street (And there’s a market for that)
  • I miss your food, @ChickfilA Please grow up soon. (I typically try not to take political sides on this blog, but yes.)
  • I only blow my nose in the finest of artisan facial tissues made from woven butterfly wings and silkworm semen. (Disturbing on more than one level)
  • Can anyone tell me how to remove duct tape from the eyes without pulling off the eyebrows? Asking for a friend. (there’s a bigger story here, I’m sure of it…)
  • So this girl got in a car accident and was making gifs while in the ambulance. Umm?? Does That make sense? No. It doesn’t. (question is…was making GIFs what caused her to BE in the accident?)
  • that’s cause you have so much damn clothes!! You have enough clothes to cover up all the poverty in the world haha (America, ladies and gentlemen…)
  • Don’t put a “We are the 99%” sticker on your car. That makes you sound poor (This is also America. I’m so proud :( )
  • I gained like 200 lbs. while traveling this month. I think my fat is mating with my other fat and making fat babies under my skin.

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

What the Gym Taught Me About CRM

First off, I’m finally settled into my new place in Austin, TX. I love it here. The company I work for – Main Street Hub, shameless plug –  totally rocks and takes great care of its customers’ social media presence (and great care of its employees). I was able to experience some of the SXSW madness right outside the front door, which was epic. Things are pretty awesome. Now, on to the business at hand.

What the Gym Taught Me About Customer Relationship Management

Going to the gym has its ups and downs. You typically have plenty of options for machines, free weights, treadmills, yadda yadda. Sometimes, simply being amongst others who are pushing themselves can inspire you to work harder (kind of a form of social proof, if you will). If you are like me, you usually end up finding that one machine that works really well, and always bee-line for it when you see it available. Because, y’know, the other one creaks or doesn’t measure your heart rate, or simply looks like it will break mid-stride and impale you. I don’t wanna die at the gym, do you?

So anyway, one thing that really irks me, and this has happened numerous times, is when I go to claim a machine or bench, and some meathead comes up to me and says, “Hey man. I was using that.” Um, no. No, you were not. You were too busy stroking your ego in front of that mirror on the other side of the gym, flexing and grunting. This machine is mine now. You can have it when I’m done, maybe. *Side note: I usually concede if the guy is a big, scary, aggressive type. Remember that time when I said I don’t want to die at the gym?

Now, here is where I make my tie-in. Gym machines are to people as customers are to businesses. They build you up, make you stronger, and if you abandon them, someone else will gladly make use of them.

This is your customer. All alone…Photo by Ambro

It is 6 to 7 times more costly to acquire a new customer than keep an existing one. Imagine how much more that figure inflates when a customer feels abandoned or ignored by your company and has been wooed by your competitor. Social media allows you many opportunities to keep up with your customers. You can keep an eye out for good or bad sentiment and react accordingly; and the point is exactly that – react. Show your customers that you care about their opinions (the good AND the bad) and they will not only respect you all the more for it, you may actually improve their initial sentiment. Use review and recommendation sites, such as Yelp!, Google Places, and foursquare, to maintain your image. Also, use them to check up on your competitors and claim their ignored equipment. When you see bad reviews of your competitors, reach out to those people (steal their machine!). Suddenly, you look like the friendly gym owner who says, “It’s ok, buddy. I’m someone who would love to pay attention to you. Let me show you.”

On that note, however, don’t be a peacock. Don’t strut your stuff once you feel good about your reputation.  Be careful not to get so caught up in your own affairs that your customers become secondary. Don’t be that guy flexing in the mirror because, as I mentioned, you are then no longer paying attention to your machine. And I’m going to come steal it!

Do you have any success stories, either stealing customers or maintaining your customer base? Share your stories below.

Now go get your social on!