Found Tweet Friday

Found Tweet Friday!

May 4th 2012 (Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you!)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

-Boy your lips taste like the night of champion ! (Judging how champions celebrate their big nights, I don’t know that this is a compliment…)
– Why was the frog sitting at the bustop…? Because his car got TOAD! *slaps knee* (But I grew up being told that Frog and Toad are Friends)
– Funny, because avocados are fruit, which means they’re more like ovaries than anything else. (So what does that make guacamole?)
– The 5 second rule : ( food hits the floor) Germs: Get it! Get it! Hurry! King Germ: No no no relax. We gotta wait 5 seconds, it’s the rule (And all this time, I thought it was just a human rule. Turns out, the germs actually follow it too, huh?)
– Yayy I was drawing blood today & I got it (Best bet is that she was talking about Draw Something. Oh how the internet has changed our lingo)
– Fun fact: the average human body contains enough bones to make up an entire human skeleton. (Wow. Had I but known! This would have been great knowledge to know in school. Thanks for nothing internet!)

There you are folks! I will try to keep this going on a weekly basis. Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great ones worth pointing out, send them to me at

Now go get your social on!

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