Found Tweet Friday

Found Tweet Friday!

May 25th (National Geek Pride Day, as it turns out!)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • if you’re one of those people that don’t pick up your dog’s shit then I actually hate you and hope you get gum stuck in your hair (This is included because I agree with this statement. Wholeheartedly.)
  • Damn I wanted too go too changes too get a pedi today but I forgot I got too work. (At least there’s consistency…sigh…)
  • Say NO to racism. Be like a panda: They’re black, white, and Asian… but not Mexican… so be like a panda holding a taco. (#twttr4equalityy…we’ve still so far to go.)
  •  hairy bumhole. Nipples come in all shapes and sizes, but hairy bumhole is quite preventable (While a true statement, the mental image that is conjured just makes me dry heave. Ew.)
  • … apparently there are bridal uggs, is that weird or is that weird (Sure, weird it ONE word for it. At least the bride would be comfortable. Right? Are Uggs comfortable? I honestly don’t know.)
  • The loose skin at the point of your elbow is often known as a “weenus”….you’re welcome (The more you knooooooow)
  • “WAS IT A CAR OR A CAT I SAW” is the only full English sentence that, when read in reverse, will be the same. #randomfact” (These are the kind of random facts I love. Did you already know this?)
  • I was going to buy a new car today. Turns out I’m short a down payment, a better job, and 400 points on my credit score. So close! (The sad, sad 140 character story. Poor fella.)
  • Impromptu to heal shopping in sweats is priceless. People look at you weird rocking heals in sweats. But hey I got two pairs of sweet heals. (*sigh* The homophone strikes again…)
On an unrelated note, I downloaded the Facebook Camera app that just released yesterday. I may write a full post on it once I play with it a bit more this weekend, but I’d like to hear others’ initial thoughts. I’m a little peeved that it forces you to turn location services on just to access your photo roll. I don’t even have location services allowed on Facebook. The app’s functionality closely resembles Instagram (which would finally resolve the question of why Facebook bought Instagram) but allows you to upload multiple pictures at one time, which is a nice time saving feature. I’m not sure that being able to upload multiple pictures at the same time is worth always having to have location services activated. We’ll see. For those of you who do not have iOS (i.e. Android and Windows phone users) or are not currently in English-speaking countries, you’re not missing a whole lot thus far if you have have Instagram, unless you absolutely feel the need to flood your Timeline with multiple photos at one time.

There you are folks! I will try to keep this going on a weekly basis. Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great ones worth pointing out, send them to me at

Now go get your social on!

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