Found Tweet Friday

Found Tweet Friday!

September 14, 2012 (Also, National Creme-filled Donut Day. Go ahead. It’s official.)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Sorry, but your baby’s “unique” name sounds like a treatment for Erectile Disfunction. (Well that’s an unfortunate choice)
  • What my night consists of babysitting Chinese food and tumblr.. (Punctuation is important, folks)
  • If this week-long dizziness and headache thing kills me, I just want you all to know… …I only like about six of you guys. (#deathbedtruths)
  • You know that Lucas changed the ending for this re-release. Turns out Luke is actually Indy’s father. (OH the plot twists!!)
  • This is my fav part ” the cat sat unplug the ringer for the father and plug the phone and so the Anaconda Didn’t work” (Aaaand my brain just fell off)
  • I don’t get jealous if I see my ex with someone else. Because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate. (oooh, burn.)
  • there were 4 guys in the back seat of my car and they all had boners hahaha (…cue porn music?)
  • Chuckin up the deuces to my long huuuurrrr #haircut (I understand the words on Twitter less and less with each passing day)
  • Hi fella. Late reply. I don’t tweeter much because of violent sneezing that hemorrhages blood from my swimsuit area when I type. (I just…don’t even know where to begin)
  • It smells like used birth control pills in this bathroom (I’m not even…what?)
There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

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