Found Tweet Friday

Found Tweet Friday!

July 13 (Friday the 13th *duh duh duuuuuuuuh*) But also, National French Fries day!

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • At the dermatologist and this chick on the reception tv says, “I have an overgrowth of anal hair…” (Wow. It’s almost like over-sharing in a public space…isn’t it?)
  • shaking like a dog shitting razorblades (what? That’s the worst thing I’ve heard in a long time! Who even thinks of that as an analogy??)
  • Seriously though, I have no idea why Turkey Creek is currently infested with exercise sketchers wearing, perky butted, tyrannosaurus walkers (This, actually, provides a pretty accurate visual)
  • Has anyone seen the the new HBO Show Girls? They should change the name to Entitled Occupy Hipster Yeast Infection Hour. #stupid #JITW (So…are you a fan? It’s not quite clear.)
  • I pity the speculum that has to dare your cavern and pray your ob-gyn has an understanding spouse (I really want to know the conversation that sparked this statement. Vagina Dentata?)
  • Alex thinks I burped his eyebrows off.. xD (I used to date a girl who nearly could)
  • If your networks O2 I feel bad for’ve got 99 contacts and you can’t txt one! (During an outage, you might as well rap about it. It’s really the best way to cope.)
  • If you want to find me at Comic Con this week, look for the overweight guy with glasses. (Needle in a hay stack)
  • I just saw an ad for car insurance where a rep dressed like a scientist opened two crates full of puppies. I’m sold. Where do I sign? (Who said advertising is dead?)
  • Omg. How did you know “cool beans” is a phrase that makes my skin crawl? LITERALLY (Although I agree with the cool beans being a relatively gross phrase, I am more off-put by the improper usage of literally. *Sigh*)

Two more things:

There exists a website that does kind of what this blog post does, but specializes in tweets from privileged kids complaining about their maids. It may make you hate people, just a bit.

On a more serious note: How would you like to be responsible for helping a father be able to cheer his son on at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London? That’s exactly what we’re trying to do. My friend Jeff is trying to get to the Olympics to cheer on his swimmer son Tyler McGill. Donate or share. Anything is appreciated to help this great cause.

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

%d bloggers like this: