Found Tweet Friday

Found Tweet Friday!

February 8, 2012  (The Anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America, as well as Opera Day!) Back after a long hiatus!

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • My sister’s favorite rapper is Will Smith. I’m pretty sure her favorite ice cream is a block of ice. (Ouch, that was harsh…)
  • Got arrested for possession of #swag last night (Sure, I’ll bet the officer was all like “Whoa, buddy. You need to tone down that swag!”)
  • Yes dad. Please continue feeling up your girlfriend and the dinner table. (Doesn’t get much more awkward than that…)
  • When you eat food that’s too hot and start breathing like a retarded dragon. (Though I don’t condone the word, I know this feeling exactly…)
  • oatmeal taste like dick hair (The hell? What kind of oatmeal are you eating?)
  • Mum needs to wash my hair for me like now (#FirstWorldProblems)
  • Sure. I’ll have three glasses of red and go hurl myself down the side mountain on waxed up planks of wood. Great idea. Super safe. #skiing (That’s a good point. Sounds dangerous, yet intriguingly awesome.)
  • At the beach today. Some lady was burning her wedding dress in a bonfire. Gee, I wonder why things didn’t work out. #boiledrabbits (What?? Where did that hashtag come from?)
  • I feel you. My car is dying. I need to let him/it go, but…I just can’t quit him. #BrokebackCar (Some loves you just can’t turn off…)
  • I never eat yucky beef… seems I accidentally eliminated horse from my diet too #result

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

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