Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

February 8, 2012  (The Anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America, as well as Opera Day!) Back after a long hiatus!

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • My sister’s favorite rapper is Will Smith. I’m pretty sure her favorite ice cream is a block of ice. (Ouch, that was harsh…)
  • Got arrested for possession of #swag last night (Sure, I’ll bet the officer was all like “Whoa, buddy. You need to tone down that swag!”)
  • Yes dad. Please continue feeling up your girlfriend and the dinner table. (Doesn’t get much more awkward than that…)
  • When you eat food that’s too hot and start breathing like a retarded dragon. (Though I don’t condone the word, I know this feeling exactly…)
  • oatmeal taste like dick hair (The hell? What kind of oatmeal are you eating?)
  • Mum needs to wash my hair for me like now (#FirstWorldProblems)
  • Sure. I’ll have three glasses of red and go hurl myself down the side mountain on waxed up planks of wood. Great idea. Super safe. #skiing (That’s a good point. Sounds dangerous, yet intriguingly awesome.)
  • At the beach today. Some lady was burning her wedding dress in a bonfire. Gee, I wonder why things didn’t work out. #boiledrabbits (What?? Where did that hashtag come from?)
  • I feel you. My car is dying. I need to let him/it go, but…I just can’t quit him. #BrokebackCar (Some loves you just can’t turn off…)
  • I never eat yucky beef… seems I accidentally eliminated horse from my diet too #result

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

August 31st, 2012 (I hear it’s “Love Litigating Lawyers Day” So, um, hug a lawyer, I guess. Or just celebrate Labor Day for four days.)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Can’t decide what to get for my first car. BMW, Porshe, Mercedes Benz, or Range Rover? #whitekidproblems (Wow. For that, I hope you get NO car. Tool.)
  • DID YOU GET A HAIRCUT? No, I just dyed the tips of my hair invisible. (Oh! You jus’ so clever!)
  • A bikini waxing boutique just asked me to connect on LinkedIn. #seriously #whensocialmediagoeswrong
  • My dog just ate a frog. Then threw the frog up. (I guess it could be worse. You could be the frog.)
  • My gf rubs my stomach while I Pooh bear (does….does this mean what I think it means…?)
  • I’ve been waiting for an oil change/repairs for 3 hours and someone just told me the mechanic quit his job in the middle of working on it? (Think YOU’RE having a bad day?)
  • A world first: Bionic eye transplant lets blind woman see http://t.co/QQjlKUlO (You GUYS, Terminators are coming. But also, this is amazing.)
  • Women’s Wrestling matches drag like a wedding dress. I’m w the Taliban when it comes to this stuff. (Well, I mean, you know how well the Taliban is liked in the U.S. right? Maybe you don’t want to announce that.)
  • So the moral of the story is yolo but if you do drugs too much you’ll olo w/fucked up teeth & a burnt off face & maybe no legs or friends (Way to be a YOLO downer…)
  • Driving with the hood of my car down (I don’t think that word means what you think it means…)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

August 3rd, 2012 (Watermelon day! Picnic anyone?)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • I can’t tell if this dude is running for exercise or if he’s being chased by invisible werewolves (It really is hard to tell. Some people run very frantically for no reason.)
  • I accidentally used Right Guard. Now I smell like a middle school gym locker in 1980.
  • Willa kissed neil then asked “did that taste like dog lips!?” hahahahaha things you don’t want to hear from your 4 yr old. (Sometimes the honesty of a child is not the best thing.)
  • CAT WOMAN, HAVE MY BABIES (Yeah. Can’t disagree with that one.)
  • Everywear I go bittchs always know charlie scene has a wenine that he loves to show, BITTCH, wake up grab beer,grab rear,shave beerd, H.U. (It…it just hurts me so.)
  • grammy: “she tried to get me to get a brazilian wax, it was kinda kinky.” me: “yeah, hairless vaginas…kinky.” grammy: “i know right.” (#generationgap)
  • Maybe you should eat some of that makeup so it can make you pretty on the inside too or kill you… (Twitter just got real vicious. Yikes.)
  • i fucking hate my father i can’t wait to live out of the house where i can fap in peace. (there’s a REALLY awkward story here…)
  • he looked great til his eyebrows punched me in the tit (Wait…what? How? I just don’t even…)
  • On the bright side, Snoop Dogg / Lion just gave Apple a brand new cat to work with for their next OS. (Will it be called the iOSizzle?)
  • Caught my dog licking the Ouija board with his lipstick out, so pretty sure the house is haunted & he will kill me in my sleep tonight. #BOO (Coming to a theater near you, this Halloween.)
  • Thinking about removing your own #50ShadesofGrey…#——- is ready to help with lots of great #Rekden products! #Miami #salon #haircut (…really? Salon name removed, for obvious reasons)
  • I had the worst dream ever, I went to school with no eyebrows, and I had to draw them with pink markers. So then everyone knew I was high (Drugs are bad, kids.)
  • “Just some guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt’s face and Jesus’ abs.” (Crucifixion is the new Pilates?)

A couple other things to check out. I have a post up on the Social Penguin’s Friday Freakout today as well. I think customer review sites are potentially ruining customer service. What do you think?

For those of you tired of the Instagram hype, McSweeney‘s has a piece just for you.

There will be no posts next week, as I’m traveling to visit family. I’ll be back soon, don’t you worry about it!

If you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.