Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

November 2, 2012 (National Deviled Egg Day! Delicious! Also, COOKIE MONSTER DAY!)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • I hate it when I’m driving down the street in my car and I spit out the window and the window is shut (Ew. Just…y’know. Don’t spit out the window then.)
  • My Halloween Costume: Shark pajamas and a calendar around my neck. I’m going as Shark Week (Now that’s just clever)
  • Getting the urge to walk around with my iPad 2 on my shoulder like a 1980s boombox. #oldtech #bigisbeautiful (Post iPad mini announcement nostalgia)
  • lol I pooped during lunch.. #SentYouPics (No. This is NOT how you should use the technology)
  • My costume is so inappropriate that I’m debating making a sign that says slut on it and attaching it to my forehead #yolo (Well, at least you’re being honest with yourself…)
  • DON’T TAG ME IN IT JUST TELL THEM MY BUTT SURGERY WENT WRONG (There’s a reeeeaally interesting story here…)
  • I believe it has to be Vodka, Bourbon has food coloring and is not a clear beverage. (Hmm…what kind of bourbon are YOU drinking?)
  • I’m YOLOing so hard this week (I think there should have been a #YOLOweek along with this. We can celebrate it like we do SharkWeek)
  • I can’t wait for #RomneyRyan2012: where Rape is birth control, Russia is evil, and China is our drunk-walk home from the bar hate-fuck. #GOP (w….wow. That’s a bright future…)
  • Fuck rope courses. Hot pot is the best teambuilding exercise. (This guy’s on to something)
  • UGH WHY COULDN’T SATAN HAVE BEEN BORN ON A WEEKEND (Um…there seems to be a misunderstanding here…)
  • Halloween PSA for murderers: don’t poison candy corn because nobody eats candy corn because candy corn is wax (At least someone is looking out for those poor murderers who don’t want their time wasted.)
  • You can’t even spell, and my son will be an athlete while yours is an illiterate douche (I say DAMN. Burn.)
  • Im so sore, I think next time I need to drop it like its luke warm……………. (Literally LOL-ed in the office when I read this.)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

August 31st, 2012 (I hear it’s “Love Litigating Lawyers Day” So, um, hug a lawyer, I guess. Or just celebrate Labor Day for four days.)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Can’t decide what to get for my first car. BMW, Porshe, Mercedes Benz, or Range Rover? #whitekidproblems (Wow. For that, I hope you get NO car. Tool.)
  • DID YOU GET A HAIRCUT? No, I just dyed the tips of my hair invisible. (Oh! You jus’ so clever!)
  • A bikini waxing boutique just asked me to connect on LinkedIn. #seriously #whensocialmediagoeswrong
  • My dog just ate a frog. Then threw the frog up. (I guess it could be worse. You could be the frog.)
  • My gf rubs my stomach while I Pooh bear (does….does this mean what I think it means…?)
  • I’ve been waiting for an oil change/repairs for 3 hours and someone just told me the mechanic quit his job in the middle of working on it? (Think YOU’RE having a bad day?)
  • A world first: Bionic eye transplant lets blind woman see http://t.co/QQjlKUlO (You GUYS, Terminators are coming. But also, this is amazing.)
  • Women’s Wrestling matches drag like a wedding dress. I’m w the Taliban when it comes to this stuff. (Well, I mean, you know how well the Taliban is liked in the U.S. right? Maybe you don’t want to announce that.)
  • So the moral of the story is yolo but if you do drugs too much you’ll olo w/fucked up teeth & a burnt off face & maybe no legs or friends (Way to be a YOLO downer…)
  • Driving with the hood of my car down (I don’t think that word means what you think it means…)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.