Found Tweet Friday!
I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!
****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****
- “Gingeritus” isn’t a disease. I hope you meant “Gingivitus” in which you should visit a dentist . (Good advice, for spelling and for dental hygiene…)
- Time to poop and brush my teeth. why isn’t there a tooth brush emoji? (That’s the least of my questions…)
- Have a legit idea of how to make my dream of Steven’s Hard Beer. How do you turn inventions into reality? #GetHardBeforeYouGoHard (Quite a slogan, Steve…)
- Its ugly out anyways….ima jus go 2 da grocery store cop hella zoom zooms & wam wams & make it a cinema weekend (It’s he’s speaking a foreign language…)
- Your face gave my cat cancer… (Wow, that cuts deep. Real deep.)
- Lmao I forgot how acclimated I am to the shitty texas weather until I’m with someone not used to sweltering in satan’s ballsac (A rather accurate description of the weather at times here in Texas)
- How come I have to pick up after my dog when I’m hiking, but I have to hike around horse poo? #itsenormous (You can’t argue that he has a valid point…)
- I need to clean up my diet do badly because I want healthy daily poop #mymotivation (I mean, you have to find motivation somewhere. Why is there so much about poop this week?)
- @snooki it’s not really a fam since ur not married. (So…that’s your definition of family, huh?)
- my boyfriend named his new car after a Downton Abbey character so don’t you dare say he’s not a renaissance man. (Gents, guess that makes you a keeper.)
- My brother was in a horrible car accident on his way to pick up lunch today. It’s really bad guys, I need your prayers. I’m SOOO hungry! (Twitter A.D.D. much?)
- Imma need to learn Spanish. My skin colour and the size of my behind demand it in these parts. #merica
- Just saw a movie trailer where Clint Eastwood kicks over a coffee table…maybe he thought it was Joe Biden. (Yeah, sorry Republicans, this made me literally laugh out loud. Like in the real sense, not the “lol” sense.)
There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and they might make the list!
Now go get your social on!
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